


Repressed

by yeahmalec



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec's first sexual experience, Dry Humping, Freeform, M/M, Magnus is a good boyfriend, Malec, Shadowhunters - Freeform, alec lightwood - Freeform, magnus bane - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-23
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2019-01-04 10:27:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12167088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeahmalec/pseuds/yeahmalec
Summary: Alec is done repressing his desires





	Repressed

It wasn't supposed to be a topic. It sort of just happened.

Izzy was walking beside Alec in her six-inch heels, discussing her sex life as a Shadowhunter so freely. Alec was fine with it although preferred not to hear about her ... Scenarios with downwolders like Meliorn. He hadn't been embarrassed or flushed until Izzy brought out Magnus.

  "I'm sure you know the perks of sweaty bodies together," she had joked around with a nonserious expression on her face until Alec didn't say anything nor did he do anything with his face. "Oh my god, you haven't - Oh," Isabelle gasped, a smile blooming on her face. "You haven't had sex?"

Alec didn't answer, making Isabelle stop her steps and stop her brother. "You haven't done  _anything_  sexual?"

"Iz, I've been a gay guy for  as long as I can remember, jumping on the first guy who I feel attracted to isn't really my plan,'' Alec said sternly, ''Plus, I'm slightly afraid,'' he grumbled and a wide smile spread on Isabelle's red lips. 

''Well, what do you want to do with him?''

''I'm not telling you,'' Alec said. ''Look, I know what I want to do but I'm - I'm not sure if I can. I mean, the idea of being with a person of the same sex still worries me and I'm afraid that what-what if being with Magnus ... Like that doesn't attract me? What if I don't feel ... That thing.''

''Aroused? Turned on?'' Isabelle questioned, ''There are people who aren't interested in sexual activities.'' 

''I am interested,'' Alec sighed, ''You don't get it, Izzy. What if Magnus isn't? What if, I'm all in and then he doesn't want me that way? What about then?''

''He basically eye-fucks you every time in a meeting, to say at least.'' She tried to joke but saw Alec's hopeless and concerned expression. She settled her hand on his shoulder, sighing. ''Talk with him. Don't go all in, but have a settled discussion with him. You might be surprised.''

\---

Alec's sitting on the couch in Magus' loft. It's been a few days since he had the small talk with Isabelle and Alec's been drowning himself in the thoughts of what to do.  It's been distracting his sleep, training, and missions until he realized that keeping it in wouldn't get him anywhere. He wants to back down and act like the lack of sexual activities in his relationship doesn't bother him or Magnus but Alec knows this is something he has to deal with.

It's a little past ten when Magnus comes back from the Institute with the same wide smile Alec's grown to be around. They hug, Alec instantly hauling Magnus in his arms and pressing their bodies tightly together as if Magnus could realize what he wants. Magnus is surprised but doesn't ask questions as Alec waits for Magnus to take off his shoes and jacket, settling them neatly in their places before pouring himself a drink - not alcohol, only some new mundane juice that Magnus has been obsessing over.

Alec hesitates but takes a seat on Magnus' lap. He crosses his hands behind the warlock's neck, diving into a soft, innocent kiss. To Alec's surprise, Magnus hums softly against his lips with hands trailing to his thighs, like nothing new is happening. Alec decides to kiss him more, pulling at his bottom lip and cautiously sliding his tongue against Magnus', ready to die of embarrassment. ''Alec.'' Magnus' tone is teasing. 

''Magnus,'' Alec hums back, lips trailing to his neck. 

   ''This is pleasing on so many levels but, also surprising.''

Alec only smiles, hands wandering under Magnus' shirt to grip his toned body, biting his neck. ''Okay, Alec - Alec, slow down.'' Magnus gently pushes Alec away, making him frown. ''What's this?'' Even Magnus knows this isn't Alec. Alec doesn't attack like this with kisses like this nor does he usually jump on Magnus' lap. 

  Alec closes his eyes, sighing and leaning back to remove himself from Magnus, ''We - I need to talk, with you,'' he mumbles, opening his eyes to see the confusion in Magnus' eyes. ''It's not bad, I just need to... To get  something out of my system to get something going between us.''

''Alright.''

''Alright?''

''Yes, alright, start.''

Alec takes a deep breath, ''I -'' He starts but cuts himself off, huffing, ''We -'' Alec groans, hiding his face in the palms of his hands. 

''Hey, relax, okay?'' Magnus' soothing hand spreads over Alec's back, ''Just tell me what's it about?''

''Us,'' Alec whispers.

''What about us?''

Alec feels insanely annoyed, detaching himself from Magnus to scoot further away. He hates how his sexuality had been hidden for so long that now, once he's actually free from restrains, he can't seem to figure out anything. Maybe it's a part of the ride or maybe Alec just isn't made up for this.

He takes a deep breath, ''Our sex life,'' he says, ''The one that doesn' exist, you know?'' 

''Alexander...''

''No, listen,'' he sighs, now coming closer. ''I want to - to do things, I really do but I don't know how. How to do anything or say what I want because I'm not used to - I've never gotten this much affection and I don't know how to react. But I do want you in a different way than just this.

''We are completely fine without it.''

''No we're not,'' Alec sighs. ''Don't you want to? Because if you don't then that's fine but if you do, then I need you to tell me I'm not just foolish.''

''Of course, I want to.''

''Then show me,'' Alec pleads with a desperate voice as Magnus' eyes him. 

Magnus inhales sharply, extending his arm out for Alec to hold and he does so, fingers lacing together. Nervousness oozing from Magnus' eyes as he gets up, guiding Alec closer to his body whose own is floating with affection and love in the air, in the clouds. He takes cautious steps toward the bedroom, giving Alec an opportunity to back down with each step they take. 

Magnus closes and locks the bedroom doors, turning to Alec who's standing, unable to do anything. ''Lay down on the bed,'' he softly orders and Alec takes in the deepest of breaths, nodding and laying back on the bed on his back. ''I'll - I'll show you what this can feel like and you tell me when you want me to stop, okay?''

Alec nods. ''Okay. I trust you, Magnus, don't be scared.''

Magnus has never been this afraid or vulnerable. He feels suffocated but excited, hopeless but wanting. He can't wait to finally explore the paradise he calls Alec even more if this goes well. 

The warlock slowly climbs above Alec, stopping when his forehead meets Alec's navel. He presses soft kisses on the burning, warm skin there and trailers them downward, his tongue darting on the surface slowly. He can feel Alec's uneven breathing and rapid heartbeat, and the sheet wrinkling under him in Alec's tight grip. 

His fingers come to open the button of Alec's jeans, wrapping around the cloth as he lowers his body and the jeans hugging Alec's legs. He slowly slides them down, biting Alec's legs and gripping the flesh all so gently, until he can slide off the jeans onto the floor. Alec's bare toes curl in excitement when Magnus scoots back up, eyeing his body. He clutches the hem of Alec's shirt in his fist and the Shadowhunter begins to strip it off. 

''No,'' Magnus hums, ''Keep it on. For this time.'' He lowers the dark green fabric when Alec nods. ''Lift your hands, above your head.’' Alec does so, stretching his body against Magnus'. 

Magnus lifts Alec's shirt so that it's above his abs, not in the way and moves slowly to run his hand across. Alec wraps his legs around Magnus, locking his ankles and trying to breathe evenly. ''Relax,'' Magnus whispers and leans back in, setting the phase slow as he leaves a trail of wet kisses on Alec's neck. He presses against Alec's thigh, caressing it before thrusting his hips in a wave motion against Alec's, resulting him jolting up. 

''I - That was nice.''

Magnus presses him down, continuing like nothing happened and like Alec isn't already quivering under his delicate touch. He spreads Alec's legs wider with his palm, hand cupping the extremely prominent bulge in his pants. 

''I've imagined us like this,'' Alec whispers breathlessly, biting his bottom lip as Magnus positions his hips in line with Alec's. ''So many times.'' 

Magnus attaches their lips, immediately locking their tongues like Alec did previously. He grinds down on Alec several times in rough but slow motions with his whole body, parting his legs everytime they tried to close. ''Wait - Magnus,'' Alec whispers, ''Can you take your jeans off?'' He mumbles and Magnus nods, quickly separating them and fiddling with his pants, throwing them on the floor and climbing back on Alec. ''Thanks.''

Magnus hums in response, removing a few strands of fallen hair from Alec's forehead. He continues slowly and tortuously grinding his hips against Alec's, who's mumbling words and gasping, withering under him and shyly thrusting his hips to meet Magnus'.

Alec's brows are furrowed, eyes squinted and lip trapped between his teeth, occasionally forming into an o-shape. The pleasure is flooding out of his actions and expressions and the dirty words falling from his mouth in a bundle of messiness. His imagines of this situation that brought him an overload of pleasure in the past weren't anything compared to this. 

''Roll us over,'' Magnus tells him.

''What?''

Magnus kisses his neck, ''I told you I'd show how you can feel. Roll us over,'' he orders again and Alec pushes his quivering body around, trapping Magnus under him as he mountains the Warlock. ''Now, move your hips.’' Alec rolls his hips in circles, hastily and slowly. ''That okay?''

Alec nods, sweat already coating his glistening face. ''I don't know what to do,'' he mumbles, not seeming to find a rhythm with his hips. 

''Just do what feels right,'' Magnus whispers, ''Whatever you want. Whatever excites you, whatever you're curious about,'' he adds, licking his lips. ''I'm all yours. Right here, right now.''

Alec seems to hesitate but reaches out, tangling his fingers into Magnus' hair from behind his head, pulling him against Alec's chest. He wraps his legs around him once again, taking in an inhale and the blissful scent of Magnus before rolling his hips, pushing Magnus' face into his neck when he feels the wet kisses. 

Alec digs his nails into Magnus shoulder and thigh, the dragging motion of his hips driving him insane. He tries to get closer to Magnus though it seems impossible, the enjoyment he gets from being this close is tremendous. He wouldn't change it for anything. 

Their bodies move, now Alec's also with a rhythm,  grinding against each other, the bed sheets wrinkling and shaking slightly. Alec gasps against Magnus' ear, small winces and moans leaving his mouth. He's happy that their first sexual experience together is like this - tender, loving, and not all the way. 

Alec tightens his abs, feeling the familiar bundle of nerves gathering up with every thrust Magnus' makes. He clutches the Warlocks hair in his fist, lips parted, ''Faster, Magnus,'' he pleads quietly in the mess of breaths. 

Alec launches his lips on Magnus' shoulder to muffle the loud moan when Magnus fastens the pace, hands on Alec's hips and moving their bodies together without Alec moving any part of his body. ''Oh my God - Magnus,'' Alec whimpers, untangling his legs to place them steadily on the bed and moving his own body. 

''Alexander,'' Magnus whispers, nibbling his jaw and grabbing his hips.  ''C'mon, let go,'' he whispers, blissfully taking in the moans of Alec. 

''I'm gonna -'' Alec bites his lip, moaning out his boyfriend's name before pushing their bodies tightly together, feeling the nerves release as he tightens his knees to clutch Magnus against him. ''Magnus,  _fuck_ ,'' Alec curses, breathing heavily against the burning flesh of Magnus' neck. ''Thank you.''

''Thank you.''

''No, seriously,'' he breathes. ''For not turning me down,'' Alec mumbles, unable to move from Magnus lap with the burning sensation in his thighs. 

''How could I ever?''

Alec smiles, ''Sorry for - You know,'' he motions between Alec's boxers and Magnus, pink tint spreading on his cheeks widely. 

''Anytime, darling,'' Magnus pats Alec's bum. 

Alec nods, calming down his breathing. ''Definitely. Please.''


End file.
